I watch the show, The Dog Whisperer.  I wonder what he whispers.  I think it’s, “Fuck Cats. Hump that leg.  Eat homework.  Turn around in a circle 3 times before laying down.  Drink out of the toilet.  Be our best friends.  Scare black people.”  Ceasar says the leader of the pack needs to be the dog owner.  He comes in and establishes hierarchy.  When it comes to choosing a leader, I’m going with the one who can lick his own balls.  “That was amazing.  Please lead us.”